rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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