i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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