The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
