Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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