So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
