FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
