I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
