I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
