another moral hangover. fuck.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
