ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
even my farts smell like vagina
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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