You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
we should paint friendship bongs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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