id be glad to
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
