I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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