In the future we'll all be gay
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
