So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
These tits shall not be calmed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
