shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
