How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
