But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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