So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
