I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
