Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you would pick up someone in the library
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize