he thought i was a dude.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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