Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize