I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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