I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
