we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
