yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
