We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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