i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
