So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
