you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
