you guys were way drunker than both of me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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