Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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