i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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