just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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