Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
