No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
