I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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