That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
