I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
