oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
