My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
