his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
