his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize