I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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