Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
