These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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