My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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