Porn is love you can see.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
