so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
