I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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