Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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