Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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