just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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