maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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