I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
