I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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