Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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