btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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