Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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