If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
