1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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