I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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